Let’s describe a situation that happen for real. See this YouTube clip (51 min).
There were two people in a company that needed to track their time (punch in/punch out) for some reasons. When they went for a lunch, they punched in their time which was essentially stealing. When you found out about this you felt that you do something wrong, you didn’t teach them loyalty.
How to solve this problem? First I will describe the wrong way to handle this situation.
Me: Guys, did you do this?
Me: You are brand new here, your work is not spectacular, you don’t distinguish yourself in any way. Therefore in another situation you’ll probably get fired. You need to learn to never do something like this again. It makes me think I need to worry about you.
Better way (OFNR Observation Feeling Needs Request). Think how did you feel:
– like I hired stupid people
– why you are so stupid
– don’t you understand is so easy to get caught
– where they disloyal – not committed to the cause
Then read this dialog:
Me: Is this happend?
They: Yes. (make an observation, so you have an agreement).
Me: When I see you do this, it makes me question your intelligence. Makes me even question your loyalty (feeling). And heres the truth about this company. I want to be surrounded by people that intelligence I don’t question. We need to build the company. We are don’t here to think whether we can trust each other (need). I don’t know if I can trust you (feeling). I’m gonna make a request. What have you thinking when you do this. Did you think it is ok? Why would you feel that would be ok? Because if there is some need that you have, like you need more time for lunch, you need make more money. Then why you didn’t came to me. I’m not saying that I am going to meet that need. But at least we can have a dialog about it. Because that what adult does (request).
There was a trap in the previous example. You were treating them like children. The opportunity here is to talk to them like adults. Not responding like a parent. What happens then? You have a company with adults. And this is hell of a lot more fun.